Freakin’ Pi@st$#s and Pop#%$n!

So I received my first piece of “hate mail” recently in the comment’s section.  It was interesting stuff.  This person has had it with me. Seriously, their name, “wowjustwow” says it all.  She (he?) has HAD it with me. 

 

Among the highlights of the comment were:

 

“So from what I can gather here, you constantly need to be patted on the back and told what a good mother you are, since the blog appears to be about nothing other than every movement, word, scribble, facial expression, and thought produced by your child.”

 

True.  I’m guessing that you’re mostly upset that I don’t include when Roan poops?  I’ve considered it.  I understand that as important as he is and certainly with how important I am (yes I am a potentially but not very likely to win award seeking blogger), people have a desire to know timing, consistency and the general comfort level of each poop he has.  I’ll think about it.   But if you want me to write about these things, you’re going to have to give me a pat on the back re: my awesome mothering skills.  Tit for tat, pall-y.

 

Moving on with constructive ideas such as:

 

“You live in New York, appear to be the typical pretentious “we let our child make grown up decisions” type (don’t correct his misspelled words, let him decide what the family eats, etc) much like Sarah Jessica Parker and her “our son has hair down to his elbows because he doesn’t want to cut it” BS that appears to be some asinine trend. Your brother is Fat Cyclist (surprise!) who probably told you of the lucrative biz of blog writing, although that will be denied because no one makes money off of blog writing, right? lol.”

 

May I remind you that Roan is five and if I corrected all of his misspelled words I would have very little time to collect pats on the back for my mothering skills?  Also, I’m confused about the surprise regarding Mr. Fat Cyclist being my brother.  Were you going for something like a “SURPRISE!  You’re on the Maury Povich Show and the Fat Cyclist is your Brother!” thing? Because listen, I’ve known he’s my brother for a really long time.  One more thing on that paragraph: don’t you lol at me man. The lucrative biz of blog writing?  Reeeallllly?  While you’re here could you click on an ad…hang on….hold the phone….no ads?  Hmmmmm.

 

Further love from my admirer goes a little like this:

 

“Now go ahead and think up some “your so evil” garbage to explain this response then sit your son down and tell him that anyone that does not love every scribble he makes may not be a bad person, just misunderstood, and not everyone can be as full of BS as his mother, then go dye his hair and put lipstick on him again to foster his creativity some more”

 

Three things: 

 

1.  When you say “your so evil” you should actually spell it “you’re so evil” because I’m guessing you are trying to use the contraction of “you are” rather than the second person possessive form of the word?  You’re welcome.  Wait, let me make it more familiar:  Your welcome! 

2.  Roan has no interest in wearing lipstick.  It smears all over the place when he’s kissing me inappropriately.

3.  I’ve changed my mind on the “bad people” front.  You’re actually kind of an asshole.

 

I deleted “wowjustwow”’s comment that day, and have banned their IP address after they came back a few times to spread more cheer.  It was a no-brainer for me.  As my sister said to me later that morning, “There’s no rule that says you have to let someone come into your house and abuse you”.  And that is true.  I just think it is so weird that someone would want to.  Anyway – big apologies for dragging Sarah Jessica Parker into this, I know she has troubles of her own.  Have a great weekend!