Pistols Version for the New York Tourism Board

I grew up in a very small town called Grand Junction in Colorado.  From there I moved to NYC right out of High School.  I didn’t know anyone in the city, and had absolutely no sense about me whatsoever, but figured you know – I’d seen the big city on TV plenty and shucks, how hard could it be?  
My naïveté and me went to
New York and had the kind of time you can only have at age seventeen or
eighteen
Completely out of hand, irresponsible, with a lot of luck and laughing along the way. 

 

After circumstance demanded that I concede defeat to New York, I wound up in Salt Lake City, Utah where my sister had a room waiting for me.  I grew up some more in the land of Mormons and Sunshine.  I absolutely loved living there and it was the right place for me to get my feet under me.  But I was always certain I’d return to New York for a rematch.

 

Now living in Brooklyn with a husband and a son, I’m living in a completely different New York.  In fact when I bump into the ghosts of my previous stay, walking down a particular street or passing a bar, I’m caught by surprise that this is the same place.  This time, New York has gathered me up in her arms and taken a maternal approach.  I’ve never felt more at home than I do here.  And while I appreciate all the culture and entertainment that’s available just a subway ride away, my favorite place to be is in my own neighborhood.  Here’s why:


    
Brooklyn trash.  We have the most amazing trash here.  Even better, if there’s a chance someone might use it we put it on the curb instead of throwing it away.  Typically it’ll be gone within minutes.  The exception is pictured above.  I can only guess there was a Barbie Exorcism.  Obviously this was an emergency and they needed their plastic toys out
of the home ASAP.

 

   
The Old Guard.  Sal’s “The Better Look” Hairstylists.  If you look closely, Sal is posing with a picture of himself in a magazine that was taken in front of the same wall.  And the Funeral Home that offers “Burials, Cremations and Foreign Shipping”.  Well thought out.  Because for real, last place you want to be caught with a coffin is the UPS line.


       
The Brooklyn P.S. 107 Science Day.  I don’t know if this would only happen in Brooklyn, but it seemed hysterically cruel.  The idea at this exhibit was for the child to stick their hand into the box without looking at its contents, and describe what they felt.  Roan said this was “probably paper, like a magazine”. I’m pretty sure that the realization that he was petting a snake’s head and skin will haunt him in his nightmares until he’s seven.  It was here that I ran into another Brooklyn mom who writes one of my favorite blogs, Amy from Brooklynometry.  Her recap of the day and photos are beautiful, just like everything she writes (especially about the Bee Keeper being Winnie the Pooh in human form.  Spot on.)  One more celebrity sighting: the guy who plays “PC” on the Mac commercials.  He was using an iPhone.


 
“Can Frickin’ Do!”:  Lemme aks you something.  You think not having a sled’s gonna stop these kids from sledding?  Fuggedaboudit, the answer is “no”, my friend they will not be stopped. Admit it, adding wheels makes everything better, and I’ve never seen a better use for a skateboard.  Bah-ROOOK-lyn’s in da haaaa-ou-se ya heard?!

 
Brooklyn’s Sense of Humor: And the joke that Brooklyn played on me?  As I’ve mentioned, I moved here from Salt Lake City, where Mormon churches are more plentiful than 7-11’s.  I think to make me feel at home, Brooklyn put the perfect apartment for my family within a stone’s throw of the biggest Mormon Church in Brooklyn.  But let me be clear: I have not thrown any stones.  No need to call me with a reprimand, Mom and Dad.  Honest.

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14 responses to “Pistols Version for the New York Tourism Board

  1. You almost have me convinced. I think I could take everything, especially Brooklyn’s sense of humor. I just don’t know about the trash thing. Do you really pick up other’s toys from the street? I like the concept but I’m not sure about the reality. Thanks for the good read.

  2. What a small world. I started reading your brother’s blog last year and just picked up on your blog when he made mention of your nomination. I now live in Grand Junction (Via Denver). We moved here to raise your kids and often say that when they are out of the house, we will move to New York. I look forward to reading your blog~Jodi (another Jodi with an “i”)

  3. Just stopping through on my way through the Bloggies. You now have another vote, as I am a proud Brooklyn native. Brooklyn In The House is Right!!Love your post, love your style.

  4. That science day snake is hysterical! What were they thinking? Actually my son would probably have died of fright. He is especially afraid of snakes. Maybe we need to move to NY to toughen him up!

  5. Oh geez, the snake skin would haunt my dreams for a very long time, too.(Found your site while voting for Bloggies. And then later while reading your brother’s blog.) 🙂

  6. Right you are, kid-o. You and Brooklyn fit this time. And I am glad you seem to find good stuff about every place you have been. But you forgot to mention the town of your high school. One of these visits, I will just have to visit your close by Mormon church and invite them over/Love reading what you write and show photos of, daughter dear. One more thing: NO KICK BOXING!

  7. Readers of those 2 blogs must be a great person. Hope you enjoy Grand Junction as much as I do. The best as far as a wonderful place to raise kids (even if they do just move away.) Jodi’s Mom

  8. Readers of those 2 blogs must be a great person. Hope you enjoy Grand Junction as much as I do. The best as far as a wonderful place to raise kids (even if they do just move away.) Jodi’s Mom

  9. Just found you via your brother. I’m living in Alpine with my husband and three son – moved here from Denver having NEVER been to Utah. It’s… real pretty.My name’s Chris, nice to meet you.

  10. Colorado Mama ~ Your children are wonderful writers! You must be very proud. We love Grand Junction and all that it has to offer (especially the cycling). We have told our children that they need to leave Grand Junction after high school, if only for a year. We think it is important to realize that there are other wonderful places out there that they could experience. My daughter wants to go to college in Paris 😉

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