Metaphorical Secrets Regarding your Bum


We’ve been operating in full-on vacation throttle here in our world.  Christmas Eve Day was our last chance to visit Santa Land and somehow it was on the agenda.  Yes, I said Christmas Eve Day.  Exactly the worst day to go to Macy’s to visit Santa.  But it had been pushed back a few times because Roan had the audacity to be running a low-grade fever on the days of our previous attempts.  So we went, and as you may deduce from these here pictures we landed on a very Sinister Claus.  But that’s not the story I walked away from Macy’s with.  The real story was that my brother-in-law, Dan, almost went fisticuffs with a power-hungry elf.  Indeed, this Cross Santa Land Elf called security on Dan, and went so far as to encourage security to “Give him some fist”.  I’m pretty sure that nothing is more awesome that that on this whole planet.  Dan’s twelve-year-old daughter didn’t see the awesome in that, however.  She’s filed this experience away for her future therapist.  If only I’d photographed it for her.



Still overflowing with the glow of Christmas Spirit, Roan and I went home and I discovered my husband in this glorious state of panic, euphoria and confusion.  Anson takes tradition very seriously and is serious about making some very permanent impressions on Roan’s brain re: What Happens When Santa Comes to Town.  His goal is to have Roan wake up to find a candy cane pathway leading to a golden gate, resplendent with singing angels who open the doors to reveal an abundance of presents while glitter raindrops fall on his head, turn to chocolate, and drip into his mouth.  Seriously, Anson takes this seriously. 



The morning went exactly as planned.  Everything I mentioned above happened.  Or at least it may as well have, given Roan’s level of AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHWEE!!!!!  My child, he loves himself some presents!  Fortunately, he’s also a big fan of giving, and as I’d hoped, Roan chose out some amazing pieces for me.  I’m not actually exchanging them because I feel like it’s come down to me admitting that Roan just has a better sense of st
yle than I do.
  So if you see me wearing something and you’re on the fence about whether you like it or not let me help you out.  Chances are you DO like it (and not only like it, but covet it) because probably Roan chose it and so it is awesome. 



And now here we are, in the middle of our big Holiday Break.  We consulted the site Mommy Poppins on Sunday and decided to go ice-skating.  I’ve never been in my whole life.  The rink we chose was up in Harlem, right on the northern tip of Central Park.  It was 60 degrees, and I just couldn’t believe how much fun it is to hold hands with my boys and go around in circles.  I won’t say my form was any good, but I stayed off my keister.  Which leads me to say that seems like a sound plan – hold hands and stay off your bum.  This is possibly the secret of success, or maybe just the secret to happiness.  Anyway, it seems to be a metaphorical secret of some sort, so please enjoy it. 



69 responses to “Metaphorical Secrets Regarding your Bum

  1. I was wondering where you were. Sounds like your family is having a great time. Ice Skating is so much fun, and the best rinks are in NYC. You’re smart to get there on the warm days. How come there are no pictures of YOU on the ice?

  2. Glad to see u post again! After u adopt Don’s family, will u adopt mine? Looks like the two of you make a good holiday season.

  3. My bum’s been really cold twice in my life. Once when I discovered that roller skating and ice skating are 2 totally independent skill sets. The other was when I had a rip in my pants.Happy New Year from Oz, where everything happens upside down and in a different time zone.

  4. Looks like the two of you make a good holiday season.

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