Let’s Talk About Sex Baby

 “So, how did you get a baby in your tummy, anyway?”

 

Of course.  So.  I told Roan I would answer him as soon as we had lights out, after books and brushing teeth.  I wanted to find out if he was really curious, or if he was just delaying bedtime.  I have to admit – as cool or progressive or open minded or NOT MY MOM AND DAD as I think I am, I was spinning a little.  I didn’t really know what he should know, if there were aspects that would freak him out rather than enlighten him, or even if he would remember to ask me when we had lights out and of course yes he remembered to ask me.

 

So my approach was this: start broad, and wait for his questions.  I felt more comfortable letting him decide how many details he wanted.  So I started out saying that when a mom and dad decide they want a baby, they use their bodies, together, to make one.  Starting nice and easy, I felt totally cool but he jumped up a few levels by asking “What about a mommy and a mommy?”

 

So, off to the reproductive system I went.  I touched Roan on his tummy and told him a female has a reproductive system here, and it has eggs.  A man has a reproductive system in his testicles (met by a “Noooooooo!!” then giggling) and he has sperm.  When the sperm meets the egg, a baby is made.  So if there are two men that want a baby or two women who want a baby, a doctor can help them, by using machines medicine and science to make it happen, but still with these same two parts.

 

He took that all at face value and moved on.  Clearly the next piece is how did his dad’s sperm get to his mom’s egg?  I went ahead and got my science voice on and said that the man uses his penis in the woman’s vagina and that it is only appropriate for adults to do and definitely not kids and not even appropriate for teenagers.  I heard myself and realized that in one 2-minute conversation my son, he had turned me into a right wing, abstinence only, sex is for procreation caricature.  That was weird. 

 

He seemed like he was unscathed by our conversation thus far, and as he ramped up for his next question, I promised myself to try and be more myself, less uptight and started relaxing about answering correctly, thinking about how truth really isn’t going to hurt him.  But here’s the thing – I never had this talk with my parents.  I was so naïve and unquestioning that until about 4th grade I believed a woman got pregnant by asking God for a child and God agreeing that it was a probably a good idea and then presto the baking began.  When a classmate started talking about sex I was wide-eyed, horrified and so forth and really thought she was a mess for making this kind of thing up. 

 

And so.  Calm and cool and returning back into my own skin, I heard Roan begin with “Mom….?”

“Yep”

“I will never….”

“Yes?” 

“Ever…..”

“…….?”

“Change that babies diaper”

 

Fair enough, we’d leave it to Dad, I said.  And then one more,

 

“Mom?  What’s it called?  When you’re making the baby?”

“Uh, yeh well it’s called sex or doctors say intercourse and some people say making love….”

Which spawned his best line to date, “Making BABY love!”  Nice.  Can’t wait for him to break that one out for his classmates.  To the entire collective of parents of Roan’s friends:  you’re welcome for adding “Making BABY love” to the lexicon of the first grade class.

 

How’d It Go? It Went Really, Really Well, Thanks.

Whatever.  I had no idea when I planned June 30 as the evening for my Livestrong Challenge Fundraiser in the beautiful backyard of Layla Jones that we would be in the middle of the Apocalypse with the Biblical rain and whatnot.  Still, my Brooklyn people are a magnificent species of fundraise-ees and we triumphed! Despite the umbrellas over the tables that apparently were of a decorative more than utilitarian variety, most people had some pretty soaking wet clothes and hair but here’s the thing: everyone was smiling.  The spirit of the night could not be rained out, and that made everything feel right as rain.  So to speak.

 

The Pistols + Popcorn team raised $5,000 all for the Lance Armstrong Foundation.  I had some amazing prizes to give out – and as it turns out some of the distribution of some of the prizes turned out to be pretty damn cool.  Here’s a run down:

 

Tickets to the Red Carpet Premier of “Shutter Island” were awarded to Michelle Weber.  Michelle is the beauty brains and brawn behind Thursday Night Smackdown.  She plugged the hell out this event in her own writings, and donated plenty of her own money.  I’m so happy to have this lady and her super-cool husband on the carpet.  I will be buying every copy of US Weekly, IN Touch, and People that they appear in, and hope to be a regular in their eventual and inevitable reality series.

 

Appaman Clothing Set went to Beth Hulme.  Who the?  Well, that’s Anson’s sister and I did not put the fix in but you know….his family has to love me just a little more for bringing awards and riches into their realm, no?

 

Speaking of Appaman, the Segway Tour of the Hudson Valley went to Lynn and Harald, the people behind Appaman.  I cannot think of any two people I would rather spend an afternoon with, our helmets on, me occasionally breaking the rules by reaching over the handlebars and touching hands with Lynn.  What?  My life is lived in slow motion with soft focus filters and Air Supply playing in the background.  Why do you think I’m pregnant again?

 

And who better to win the Colbert Report tickets than a local church, CCfB? The beautiful thing here is that I’d guess each member of the congregation is an avid fan of the show.  This speaks to why this church is so cool that they would even be aware of the badness that is Pistols + Popcorn.  Yeh.  If any of the members are wondering….Casey assures me that she’s willing to donate her time to go to the show. She’s a giver!

 

Speaking of CCfB – another friend from there won the tickets to the All Points West show.  It’s a little suspicious because truthfully I was totally indebted to her anyway because she created the flyers for this event in no time and for no money, with a song in her heart and birds chirping in her ears.  But again, read my lips, I did not fix any of these contests.  Yay Sarah!!  (By the way do yourself a favor and check out her site – she’s a gifted graphic designer and unfairly talented in the creativity department.  You’re welcome everyone.)

 

Finally – the hand painted portrait by Lori Nelson.  Let me preface this with part of a comment left not too long ago by my old High School friend, LeLaLu (or Lauren, as we call her) directed towards my sister:

 

BTW, your art is truly, hauntingly beautiful. Some day when I have $ to burn, I’ll commission you to paint my sweet firstborn boy.

 

Lauren’s sweet firstborn boy is named Acanaan.  I cannot tell their story because I don’t own those words.  I can say that the words would tell the story of a young mother who loves her son the way we mothers love our boys.  The words would then describe the profound loss she experienced when she lost Acanaan, at age twelve, to Leukemia.  I can’t even imagine those words, to tell that story.  But it is a hugely important story.  Still, it’s only part of her ongoing story which continues with her two other sons and loving man. 

 

I read Lauren’s comment and had to put a donation in her name, for the portrait, hoping that somehow things would align.  They did, and when Roan pulled her name out of the soaking wet paper bag, I was glad for the rain so I could turn my face away and back to my friends with tears and no questions.  Lori was equally happy. 

 

There were more winners –

 

Painted Pot Birthday Party went to Jackson

Painted Pot Pottery Classes went to Antoinette, as did the Big Movies for Little Kids Season Passes (though she feels guilty for winning twice)

Boone who I will be taking with me to Vegas next time I’m feeling like gambling won:

“Kitchen Play Dates” by Lauren Bank Deen

A Haircut by Lola Newsom at Hello Beautiful

One Year Unlimited Pass at Area Yoga

Lauren won a $75 Gift Certificate from Catbird

Abigail won a sassy Leather Bag from Exit 9

$50 Gift Certificate from Exit 9 went to Sachin (who shared it with Roan.  Sachin = awesome)


Roan’s cast signing project was a huge success – he was overwhelmed with signers, and I’m posting the picture which came from furthest away, from Ingrid, via her proxy, my neice Emmie.  Thanks Ingrid.

 

                             
                                        

I just wish I had better words than “Thank You” to all the people who donated their money and all the people who donated prizes.  But that’s what I have, and so that’s what you all get.  Thank you, from my whole heart, for giving me the ways and means to feel like we CAN do something to fight this violent disease.  It means the whole world to me.  Thank you. 

Tonight! Be There or Be Square (and not in a cool hipster ironic way)!

Well this has to be quick as I am busy writing the name of each person who donated to my Livestrong Challenge Page on the back of thousands of raffle tickets.  Today coincidentally is also Spike Lee day here in Brooklyn, to celebrate the 20th anniversary of “Do the Right Thing”.  (Yes, you really are that old, but that’s ok because so am I.)   As today is the end of my fundraising efforts (for this event, anyway), I like the theme of “Do the Right Thing”, because each person has done exactly that, and then some (but let’s not trash the pizza joint like in the movie, agreed?)

 

So thank you to everyone who has donated so far, and to everyone who plans on attending tonight and donating.  All winners will be drawn tonight at Layla Jones Pizza (obviously kid-friendly bring ’em) beginning at 5, ending at 8ish.  The winners will be posted here on Pistols tomorrow (or Thursday if I have to emergency-sleep the day away tomorrow.  Not that I’m tired or anything.  Nope, top of the world, never felt better and I have energy running out of my eyeballs.  Yeh.)

 

One Roan note, because after all who would I be if I didn’t name-drop that guy?  He decided he wanted to donate something, and offered space on his cast.  It was reinforced and re-wrapped yesterday, so it is (sort-of) clean.  Roan will be accepting donations tonight to sign his cast, with all proceeds going to the Lance Armstrong Foundation, because as he said, “Cancer is bad and we have to fight.”  Then he started throwing crosses, uppercuts, and Muay Thai kicks and something tells me Cancer does not stand a chance.

Last of the Super Glam Prizes – Colbert Report Tickets

This is the last prize to be offered here on Pistols + Popcorn as part of my Livestrong Challenge effort.  Raffle tickets will be available online until midnight (EST) on Monday the 29th; every $5.00 donated will generate a virtual raffle ticket, with the winners for all the prizes being drawn at Layla Jones in Brooklyn on Tuesday.  All raffles will re-open at the event, and prizes will be given out all night.  Party starts at 5:00 until approximately 8:00 (if I can stay awake that late.)  (Do I know I am pathetic?  Yes.)  (Does that change anything?  No.) 

 
Starting today, you have the chance to get impossible-to-get tickets to a taping of the Colbert Report!  While these tickets are free to the public, they are currently unavailable through July of 2010.  That’s a mighty long time but I’m here to tell you…if you want to fight cancer, and get a chance to see Colbert, donate any amount directly here, my Livestrong Challenge Page and you just may win.


To recap all the available prizes, just so you can figure out how to best spend your $5.00 on Tuesday night (after you buy some of the best pizza you will ever eat):

 

 

 

Roan, Now.

[Note:  My friend/advisor/comrade Lola reminded me yesterday that I haven’t been asking/pleading/procuring votes for the Nickelodeon Parents’ Picks awards, for which I am nominated.  So here I go: please click here and vote for me, then come back and enjoy the Pistols and the Popcorn.  Thanks!]

 
Roan blows my mind when he draws for me.  It’s not that I think he’s particularly gifted as an artist, but he is awesome at letting me know he thought about me, during the day.  Every day when I pick him up from his class, he has armfuls of paper, filled with pictures, usually specifically for me with either “MOM!” or “JODI!” scrawled on the top to mark intended ownership.  Sometimes, he has typed and printed a message, like, “Hot today parck today ice krem today say yes today” which is quite compelling to a mother like me, who just can’t help but say “Yep yep” when it’s presented that way. 

 
I wonder how long my boy will have his mind so focused on the things we do together.  How long until his autonomy takes over and his life is more about his friends and his experiences with them, than his with me.  I look forward to that for him, for him to branch out and see how he impacts others and they him, but I just cannot help but feel greedy and sentimental about my Roan – the archetypal “mama’s boy” who can still be bribed with extra songs at night, or the promise of me laying down with him for an extra five minutes.  I know these things will change.  But now – while they are still this way, I’ve just got to give words to this time in our relationship and how thankful I am that I’ve been able to have it with such an interesting and sweet boy.


It’s Going (yawwwwn) Just Fine

[Note from Jodi: Many thanks to everyone who helped with support during the broken arm incident.  It’s funny that it helps to hear that other people have been there – and worse – but it does help.  Thank you everyone.  Also, if you haven’t noticed, the Appaman Raffle  is taking place right now, to benefit the Lance Armstrong Foundation.  Click here to find out what the prize is, and click here to donate any amount to my Personal Livestrong Challenge page.  Thanks!!]


It’s Going (yawwwwn) Just Fine. 

I know that my memories of being pregnant with Roan may be a little distorted.  For instance, when people ask if I had morning sickness with him, I reply that I did not.  I proclaim that it was an easy pregnancy, in which I was finishing up some college courses, secured a great job, facilitated group sessions with drug addicts and worked right up to the day I was to be induced. 

 

However, I do remember one snippet of a conversation with my brother-in-law, Rocky, where I proclaimed that I couldn’t understand why anyone would do this more than once, to which he replied, “It’s because you will forget”.  He was right as rain.  I have been having a fairly easy time thus far being pregnant with Roan’s teammate (whom he is certain is a girl.  I feel it’s a boy.  Anson inexplicably is firm that we have twins though about 6 ultrasounds have shown otherwise.)  Still, before I became pregnant, I could do pretty much everything I wanted to do, PLUS everything Roan and Anson wanted me to do and feel like I had energy to burn.  I was teaching five Muay Thai Kickboxing classes per week, running about 15 – 20 miles per week, and was at this hard-fought place with my body where my weight was cool with me while I was still eating all the things I felt like I wanted to eat.  In short – my body felt like it was my dominion. 


So, predictably I’m about to tell you it’s all changed.  True it has but the thing that’s getting under my skin?  I’m tired.  I’m tired as I roll out of bed in the morning, after I drop Roan off from school, I have to work up my energy to put my house together every day and it takes all my power to show up to Muay Thai.  I feel lucky that the nauseous thing has so far pretty much stayed at bay, so I’m not going to complain (hang on is this complaining?  No no, just documenting.  Seriously.  If you could hear my tone, it would be upbeat and friendly and not whiney at all no sireeebob.  I’m not even bringing up the fact that I’ve broken out my “big girl” clothes.)
 


 This energy deficit was so pathetically evident on Sunday for Father’s Day.  Anson, Roan and I went to a favorite restaurant for brunch (I had yummy Sour Cream Pancakes).  Then we hopped the subway to get to Dylan’s Candy Bar, which is an extravagant candy mecca owned by Dylan Lauren (daughter of up and coming designer Ralph).  Walking in there is like licking twelve lollipops while simultaneously mainlining a bag of chocolate.  The air is sweet and cool and smells of everything good.  Everything.  While Roan was losing his mind going through the three floors of candy shop, I had to go sit down and drink a bottle of water.  Because I couldn’t keep up, because I am 102 years old.  So I finally got my mojo back and suggested we take the Sky Tram over to Roosevelt Island to hang out on the grass by a beautiful little lighthouse and the boys were into it.  We arrived, and this time not only did I sit rather than play freeze tag, I demanded a smoothie.  I don’t know who I am anymore.  It was actually a lovely day and both of my guys love this new more vulnerable and tired me, but I don’t think it’s all that cute. 
 

 

I suppose I can take solace in the fact that the day spent my Roan, as evidenced by him falling asleep one full hour before bed time, and putting up no resistance as we carried him to bed, only muttering “Is your wrist strap on?  Is your wrist strap on?”  That’s very telling, isn’t it? And Anson is laying here next to me, tearing up while watching Extreme Home Makeover (Ok, that’s possibly crossing the TMI line because he will never admit that in public but if I’m lying I’m dying it is happening right now) and it is all of 8:13 PM and I see him fading.  So, in essence, I’m going to frame it up t
his way: being pregnant has finally helped me travel to a place where relaxing on the couch trumps doing dishes, and playing Wii counts as quality time for the family.
  Everyone seems to be adapting just fine.

Super Glam Prize – Appaman! Woooo-Hoooo!

 
If you’ve been keeping up with the life and times of Roan and myself, then you understand our brand loyalty to Appaman.  Now – let me just tell you all that even way way way before we met the people behind the brand, we were fans.  The fact that the designers live in our hood and are the kind of people you’d want to live on a commune with just adds to our Appaman love.  But, the clothing stands alone; it is the cuteness.


Appaman has donated a girl’s set or boy’s set of clothing to my Livestrong Challenge raffle.  For every $5.00 you donate, a virtual ticket will be issued for you to win either:

 

Boys

  • straight leg dark wash denim (RSP $60)
  • denim jacket (RSP $66)
  • railroad carpenter pant (RSP $60)
  • Appaman footbal jersey (RSP $32)

    

                                                 

                                           ********OR********


Girls

  • straight leg dark wash denim (RSP $60)
  • denim jacket (RSP $66)
  • carpenter railroad skirt (RSP $48)
  • Appaman football jersey (RSP $32) 
   

 

The available sizes are 6m – 8. Once the winner is chosen on June 30th, at Layla Jones Pizza, he or she can submit their child’s size and Appaman will ship the prizes on to you directly. 

 

To enter, click here and donate any amount.  To find out why I’m participating in this fundraising effort, click here.  To take a look at some of the other prizes, all of which will re-open on the night of the 30th, click here.  Best of luck!